I am proud to say that since my last fishing
report, I haven't been attacked by my watchdogs at home, haven't been
struck by lightning, haven't experienced an earthquake and haven't been
even close to drunk. So, as you might guess, I'm bored to death and now
must invent a report for this week. Those that know me understand that in
order to write a fishing report, I need very few facts, just the events,
and I fill in the facts as my mind so decides what they are. If by chance
you are mentioned by name in one of my stories today and wish to contest
the facts as presented, tough luck because I do not write corrections.
Over the past twenty odd years, there have been some interesting,
disturbing, mind boggling, irritating, memorable and, most of all,
hilarious events taking place at HFC. This week I thought it might be fun
to recall just a few.
Back in the late 90's, I received a call from two college exchange
students from the U.S. that were down in Venezuela on a Rotary Club grant
and, as their time was just about up and they both loved to fish, they
were wondering if they could come fish one weekend. When I told them what
it cost per day, I could hear Patrick, the student with whom I was talking
on the phone, catch his breath. He explained that he believed they would
have to pass, since they were both running very short on funds. I asked
what they could pay and he replied that if they came over on a bus from
Caracas, they could probably pay $100 a day. I don't know what came over
me, but I told him that if they could get to Puerto Ordaz, I would give
them a two day trip free of charge.
arrived in Puerto Ordaz and I had them picked up and driven to El Manteco
for the boat ride up to the camp. Neither of them had any fishing tackle,
so I sent a couple of my rods and a tackle box along with Angel, who was
to be their guide, who I gave instructions to let them fish a little bit
on the way up the lake.
That night about dark, they arrived at the camp. Both of them had smiles
on their faces that Ajax (my dog) could wipe off. In the very first place
that they had stopped to fish and on. Patrick's very first cast with a Big
Game Woodchopper had hooked and landed his dream fish, which was an 18 lb
beauty . His partner later caught a 14 lb chunk of peacock bass and, since
his previous big fish was only 4 lb, he was definitely happy.
Toward the end of their trip, I asked them what time they needed to be at
the bus station for the long ride back to Caracas, and they told me it
didn't matter much, since they were both broke and were planning on
hitchhiking. When it was time for them to go, I drove them out to the
nearest town with a bus station, bought them express bus tickets back to
Caracas and presented them with a Styrofoam icechest full of sandwiches
and soft drinks to tide them over until they got there. When they asked me
why I had done all of this for them, I told them I wasn't exactly sure
since I was so broke I couldn't afford to be a charitable organization.
Maybe I just would like to think that if one of my children ever were in
the same situation, somebody would take time to care. To this day I still
feel proud of myself to have done that.
in the late 90's, I had a couple from Midland-Odessa, Texas come fishing.
Now Todd is a very good fisherman and his wife, Linda, just fishes and
takes what comes. During this one special trip, they were fishing with
their guide, Angel, when Todd had a monster fish slam his bait and, after
getting a good hook set, the fight was on. Now Todd is like many of us
fellas that have past the half century mark in that someone stole his butt
cheeks and left him rather flat on the backside. This is important because
as he was leaning back and straining to control the big peacock bass he
had yanking on his line, the physical act caused that little butt he had
left to clench even tighter. This in turn allowed his shorts to start
sliding down past his waist on a beeline for the floor. Linda, being ever
so observant, immediately grabbed the camera and recorded the following
events for posterity and for my fishing report. About all Todd could say
after the fact was that, first he wasn't going to stop fishing the fish to
grab his falling pants, and, second, he was dang sure glad that Linda had
bought him some brand new underwear for the trip and the unscheduled photo
there was a truly special day that occurred not long ago involving my good
friend, Jim Good, and his pretty wife, Ele. Now Jim would rather you whack
him in the family jewels with a boat paddle than have him use a George
bait. Not that he doesn't own a multitude of these baits, but for some
reason, I'm voting on hardheadedness, he just hates to use one. Well, Ele
has no such restrictions and, since Jim would not put one on for her to
use, she did the next best thing and that was to go out fishing with me
and HFC guide, Santos. First thing that morning I tied on a George for
Ele, and from the first cast she was catching fish and singing the George
song. While fishing had been slow the previous days, Ele and I managed to
George up 33 peacock bass that morning from 5-15 lbs, seven over 10 lb.
Jim went out using his normal lures that morning and came in with only
three little fish to his credit. So you can imagine how happy Jim was for
Ele when she began to tell him about George doing this, George doing that,
and what great fun it was to fish with George and sing the song. I believe
it was about then that Jim mentioned about cutting my life short.
Now as much as I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Jim squirm at lunch that day,
it paled in comparison to what happened that afternoon when Ele went out
fishing with him and demanded she would be allowed to fish with Senor
George. When the water quit frothing and Jim and Ele returned to the camp
that evening, I noticed Jim coming up the hill with a serious scowl on his
face and murder in his heart. Ele had put another major butt whipping on
him by catching a 16.5 lb brute with her George and Jim wasn't taking it
well at all. For the entire evening, all I had to do was look at Jim and
start laughing until I would be crying. I would like to thank Ele for
being such a great student and for giving me such a great story to tell
around the camp at night - or like right now in my report.
Friends, I could tell hundreds of stories like
these, but I would much rather you come to HFC and make your on stories.
We have been doing this for folks for the past two decades, and the good
Lord willing, we will be doing it for some time in the future. We have the
big fish, we have the space, and all we need is you to come.
Topwater season is here; so, if you are like
Jim, good and do not wish to throw a George, just take out your favorite
topwater and get after it. Huge explosions will be the order of the day
for many months to come, so I know you don't want to miss out on the
action. Just send me an E-mail with your preferred dates, and I will work
with you to make it a reality.
September 26, 2010